The 'Ideal' Marriage: A Satirical Take on Love, Passion, and Silence

I came across an interesting thought about relationships. What if the ideal marriage wasn’t about constant love, passion, or even communication, but about... well, not communicating at all? Here's a satirical take on what an 'ideal' marriage could look like, where silence, separation, and routine become the foundation of a lasting partnership.

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Ideal Marriage

by Marina Aristo Markovic
(Satirical story from the book "The Right to Vote is Wrong")

I admit that I am not an ideal man, and judging by the woman I married, neither is she. And yet, our marriage is ideal.


I don’t remember the exact date we got married, and I also don’t remember the last time we argued. Otherwise, we rarely talk.
I’m not interested in politics, and I talk about women with my godfather. At home, I’m quite quiet, and I find out everything that’s going on from my godmother when she comes over to our house to chat with my wife and have coffee.


Since the godparents divorced, we stopped having lunch, dinner, and vacations together, so we see each other separately. Unlike theirs, our marriage has withstood the challenges.


We eat in silence, not so much out of politeness, but because she’s a vegetarian and I’m not. So, we each prepare our own food and eat when we’re hungry.
She watches TV shows in the bedroom, and I watch football in the living room. So, I can’t see her when she cries, and she can’t hear me when I curse.


The lucky thing is that we live in a fairly large apartment, so we have two bathrooms. We’ve never argued out of necessity.
To be honest, I’ve always started relationships out of love or passion. That was the case with all my relationships before marriage, and even during marriage, but no relationship has lasted as long as my marriage. Maybe because there is no love, no passion, and no arguments...


It seems that this is why our marriage is ideal.

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What do you think? Is this really the 'ideal' marriage? Or is it a recipe for disaster?

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