The Honest Finder: Confessions of a "Conscientious" Politician

 They say that surprises come when you least expect them. And so it happened, one ordinary afternoon, when a certain politician, who insists he's committed to objectivity, even toward himself, called a press conference to reveal the truth behind the lost money everyone had been talking about

That “truth,” however, arrived buried under a mountain of documents, or, as the man himself poetically described it, an ocean of lies dotted with small islands of honesty.

Surrounded by his own journalists, the ones he proudly pays to be objective, he began to speak. But amid the sea of questions, one kept surfacing again and again:

“Where’s the money?”

“They asked it so many times that my head started spinning,” he later confessed. “At some point, I stopped feeling sorry for the journalists, the public, even myself. The only thing I pitied was the money, since no one seemed to be spending it.”

He claims he tried to answer, but after years in politics, he had simply lost the habit of giving anything, including answers.

“So I did what any reasonable politician would do,” he said with disarming honesty. “I pretended to be insane. And, frankly, I was remarkably convincing.”

Exhausted, he returned home, opened his laptop, logged into the system, and, in true Archimedean fashion, shouted:

“Eureka! I’ve found it!”

Moments later, every major news agency received his official statement. In it, he proudly announced that he had finally located the missing funds that had been keeping everyone awake at night, safely resting in his own accounts.

“My joy knew no bounds,” the statement concluded.

“Now I patiently await my reward, for being an honest finder.”

Authorities have since confirmed that the “found money” was indeed in his accounts, though they politely declined to comment on how it got there.

The Politician, in the meantime, remains optimistic. He is reportedly planning a new press conference, this time to announce that he deserves a reward, because he honestly "found’ the missing money. Although, to his surprise, he discovered that the money had actually been in his own account. 

Anyway in his view, discovering the money means he deserves a reward for his "honesty".

In fact, in politics honesty, much like money,is never truly gone. It just changes accounts.

* Satirical story by Marina Aristo Markovic 



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